This is Truth.

Pregnancy

Russia got me pregnant.

I wake up sick every morning. I have persistent morning sickness. Either I was the subject of some Soviet-inspired experiement which impregnated me with the golden child of the second coming of Lenin, or I was poisoned. Perhaps maliciously, perhaps not. I've been given various possibilies, ranging from 'it could be anything' to 'it could be everything.' My symptoms include nausea, upset stomach, indegestion, heart burn - the day it started I recall nuzzling the toilet at 4am, repeating the Pepto Bismol jingle to myself. Surprizingly, this did not make me more suicidal, but held me steady in a permenant smoldering insanity.

That wasn't the start really; from my third day here I began waking up with inexplicable muscle and back aches, migranes, dizziness and disorientation. For the first two weeks, these symptoms would fade after breakfast and a shower, but they are now nearly permenant. Nothing I do sets me right, not the food I eat or the habits I undertake. I ate at Sbarro yesterday and felt better for a while afterwards. I don't know if I'm digesting anything, my stomach lining has been swpt from the field. I can't drink the water here, so I am also constantly dehydrated. Water fixed everything when I was in college. Now its just another poison in a world of poisons. I've lost weight, but not will. I am not dying.

I am just fading away.

I am Douglas McArthur.

posted by Майлз Г. Смит @ 4:17 PM